How your personal style can make you happy
We can all agree that happiness comes from WITHIN. And yet the way you dress and take care of yourself can make a HUGE difference in your day-to-day happiness.
And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that 90 % of us don’t dress and style and treat ourselves the way we would like to. At least that’s the case with most of my clients.
And when I ask them why, the answer is pretty much the same: “I don’t think I can pull that off.” “I don’t think I’m pretty enough.” “What are people going to say if I start dressing differently?”
This is where we go back to the WITHIN I was just talking about. We don’t feel like enough of a beauty to wear what we want to wear. And that feeling is rooted really deep inside:
Before you go on reading I want you to consider signing up for my FREE 7-day Self Love Challenge. A bunch of the exercises in this blogpost are also in there, but more in-depth and including cute and useful printables! I you're thinking about changing your style, this self love challenge is EXACTLY the right groundwork:
PERSONAL STYLE GOALS
Maybe we heard our Moms say negative things about our clothing or even their clothing when we were little. Maybe we got used to people gossiping about strangers on the street that were dressing a little differently.
Maybe we’re deceived because we don’t look like the women in magazines and therefore get the idea that those clothes look pretty but that WE won’t look pretty in them.
Whatever it is that the feeling of insecurity comes from, we can do TONS about it to change that and finally look the way we really want to.
My goal for you today is this:
I want you to start looking at yourself through different eyes. I want you to get to know yourself better. And I promise I won’t tell you to go shop yourself into oblivion - even though that is a really fun way to spend your time! :)
I want you to FEEL good about your outer appearance.
Yes, happiness comes from WITHIN, but the outside and everything that goes with it should underline that. And we should have FUN with it, instead of dreading it or feeling ashamed of it.
And the way we dress is only the beginning. Personal style to me is everything relating to our outer body. From the root of our hair to our toenails. And from the clothes we choose to wear to whether we choose to wear makeup, pluck our eyebrows, paint our nails or bleach our teeth.
WHAT IS PERSONAL STYLE ANYWAYS?
It’s not just the way we present ourselves to others...it’s THE WAY WE PRESENT OURSELVES TO US!! In case you haven’t noticed: the only person who spends 24 hours a day with you and sees you each and every minute - and the only important opinion for that matter - is YOU!!
It’s about all the things you wear, from the choice of colors to the choice of style, to WHAT you’re actually wearing. It’s about surrounding yourself with things you REALLY love, no matter your size, shape, skin color or age.
It’s also about not only what you put on your body (like makeup, hair colors or nail polishes) but also and ESPECIALLY how you treat it. Do you take care of it daily? Do you take time out of your busy day to get some quality time with it?
And most importantly: It’s the way we decide to talk about ourselves in our heads! What does your inner dialogue look like? Are you more of an inner critic or a supporter?
HOW DO I REALLY WANT TO LOOK LIKE?
Did you ever ask yourself that? This question is harder to answer than it seems. Many of us stick to the clothes we’ve been wearing for years, or even decades. Because it’s comfy, easy, it’s known. We’re in our comfort zone here. And we often admire certain celebrities or models because the things they’re wearing are so put together or so unique or so stylish. And yet we keep to our known outfits because we think “I can’t pull those things off…”.
Guess what: Yes you can! You can pull off anything you like. You just need to get over yourself.
So here’s what I want you to do right now:
You’re going to open a new Pinterest board and you’re going to call it “Stylish” or “Wanna try” or “Beautiful” and you’re going to collect pins with outfits, makeup styles and/or haircuts or hair colors you didn’t find the courage to try until now.
And then you’re going to commit to yourself to try at least ONE new thing until the end of this same month.
When was the last time you went on a shopping-without-shopping tour? You know like when we were teenagers and didn’t have enough money to buy any of the outfits we so loved? We just went to the stores and tried them on (and just a hint: this was pre-cellphones, so we didn’t take selfies, we just soaked up the moment and got really excited!).
EXERCISES AND GOAL IDEAS
If you can’t think of any outfit or makeup right away, try this: Think of a celebrity that you think is beautiful. Now write down 5 sentences about why it is you think she’s beautiful. The only catch: it can’t have anything to do with they body type, shape weight or skin color. For example:
I love that she always seems to wear the perfect outfit for each occasion.
I love that her makeup looks really natural.
I love how bold her lipstick is.
I love that she wears clothes that are sporty and still sexy.
I love that she wears her hair totally different every season.
I love her very boho/gipsy style.
I love that her skin’s always glowing.
I love that she’s always wearing unusual nail colors.
Now go make a list right NOW! I’ll wait...
And now let’s go from inspiration to real life:
So you like her natural makeup: go find tutorials on how to do natural makeup.
So you like her boho/gipsy style: go find clothes that look like the ones you like most and try them on. Get out of your comfort zone. Try an off-shoulder dress for once.
So you love her bold lipstick? Get to the store and buy at least two options you like.
You get where I’m going with this, don’t you? It’s about aspiring to look like your style idol and actually taking action. There is nothing wrong with copying a style. Or trying a unique spin to it. Go nuts. Reinvent yourself.
To give you some examples, I’m going to share this month’s goals of mine with you.
For the longest time, I was totally afraid of wearing the things that I loved. This had a lot to do with growing up around two brothers. They didn’t mean to, but they really influenced the way I dressed and presented myself. I thought that daily makeup was just for superficial girls and that I couldn’t pull off the dresses I saw in magazines, because I didn’t and I still don’t look like the models I grew up admiring.
I also thought for a long time that taking care of your body is just a waste of time. Every girl that spent more than 10 minutes in the shower was definitely too into her looks. Long story short. I have deprived my beautiful and miraculous body of my love for decades.
I had to become a mom and happiness coach to change that...good thing you don’t need to go through everything I went through… Just set some goals TODAY - like these:
Put on lipstick each morning.
Oil your nails each night before going to bed.
Try out a new way of getting rid of body hair - I’m trying out waxing this month - and I’m scared to my bones! :)
Dry brush twice a week
Make a Pinterest board for natural beauty hacks and fill up on body and facial scrubs recipes made from easy ingredients you have at home (the coconut oil and baking soda mix is MY FAV! And it’s sooo easy. Take a look at the recipe right HERE!)
Try a new outfit once each week at least.
No easy ponytail hair-do until the end of the month.
I want you to make a list of things you could implement THIS month to get to know yourself better style-wise. You could put it into your habit tracker (If you don’t have one already, I have one in my resource library right HERE! It’s in my monthly overview printables ready to be printed and tackled!).
Go ahead RIGHT NOW! I’ll be here when you get back, I promise!
You know those girls you see on the street that are absolutely ROCKING their style? Well, they look like that because they have decided to take care of their whole outer appearance.
And they look so confident because they have taken the time to get to KNOW themselves. Decide what they want to wear, how they want to do their hair and whether or not to shave their legs.
And NO, that doesn’t make them superficial or takes away their time from their spiritual or personal growth. They’ve just accepted their appearance as part of themselves to have FUN with. Experiment a little and reinvent themselves from time to time.
Now did you know that the way we talk about others affects the way we see ourselves? Or maybe it’s the other way around? I guess it’s like the question of the chicken and the egg: we’ll never know for sure!
But the important thing to know is the more we gossip and talk negatively behind other people’s backs, the worse we’re feeling about ourselves!
And that there’s a REALLY SIMPLE way to turn that around.
Start having positive thoughts about the people you see on the streets. Maybe you’ll have to fake it in the beginning. Because our minds are really tricky and so FAST in their used tracks, it’s a matter of a lot of practicing before we can change pre-set thoughts (if you’re interested in more information about this topic, I recommend you to read this blogpost - HOW TO CHANGE FROM INNER CRITIC TO INNER HERO).
But practicing this ability will benefit the way you feel about yourself really deep inside. So don’t you think it’s totally worth it?
EXTRA TIP: If you have difficulties getting out of a gossipy conversation, and I know you will, because gossiping is kind of part of our DNA, try having certain sentences ready to change the conversation. For example if someone near you is talking about another woman’s clothes, you could say: “Talking about clothes, did you see the new MANGO catalogue?”
Lot’s of us see gossiping as a bonding experience and therefore wave off the criticism. And I get it. Being part of gossip can be seemingly rewarding, but it’s very destructive in the long run. Let me say this to sum up:
I want you to try and imagine a world in which we lifted each other up instead of tearing us apart. A world in which we all would try and see other people for the good that they are instead of bitching behind each other’s back.
(Note: yes, I know this is pretty over-dramatized, but I’m trying to make my point, so please forgive…)
I want you to stop gossiping for 1 week! Instead, I want you to find 1 person to compliment each day! At first you won’t even notice the moments you’re gossiping until maybe some time later, but you will start noticing. And remember, when you find yourself in a gossipy type of situation, just change the subject.
Well ladies, that’s it for today! I hope I could give you a few nudges in the right direction. If you want to learn a few more exercises to help you love yourself (not only but also style-wise), than you should totally check out my
FREE Email Self Love Challenge
It’s called “Dear Me!” and it’s an email challenge where you get one email each day with tons of exercises, printables and other goodies to help you on your way to falling in love with yourself again!
Now tell me: what area do you find the most challenging when it comes to your personal style? Is it taking the time to take care of yourself? Is it the nagging self-doubt I once had? Tell me in the comments!
Have an incredibly good day!
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