How and why to be your very own Happy Valentine
No matter if you’re in a relationship or not, you just can’t get passed St. Valentine’s Day without noticing the hearts, the greeting cards, the flowers and the offerings of what THE BEST romantic gesture for your loved one is.
And I’m a total fan of going with the flow and make the best of the chances we get to celebrate love! But I also want to remind you that love should be in us and around us each and every day!
With that said, I wanted to take the opportunity not to talk about St. Valentine’s Day with your loved one, but to talk about how to celebrate the big love we (SHOULD) have inside FOR OURSELVES!
“There’s no love affair more neglected than the one we should have with ourselves!” (Is that a tweetable or what?!)
A few of you might think: “Isn’t that kind of selfish?”
My answer is: NO, IT’S NOT!
Why we should focus on loving ourselves more
Before we are even close to being able to make someone else happy and support them whenever they need us, we need to love ourselves. Because it’s a matter of time before everything we feel inside will come right to the surface. So once the first butterflies are gone, whatever negative feeling you have inside of you, it will start to grow. And you’ll reflect everything you dislike, fear or even hate about yourself on your significant other. So you need to be good to yourself first to be able to be good to your relationship. Learning to love oneself is a sure-fire way to learning how to be a good wife/girlfriend.
You and your partner both came together with the promise to make each other happy, right?. But: if you never went on the self love journey, chances are you don’t even know what exactly it is that makes you happy. Now if you don’t even know what makes you happy, how is your husband supposed to know? Maybe you want him to guess…? Let me tell you that’s the first step to a toxic relationship. You need to explore yourself first, get a feeling of what lifts you up and what drags you down. And THEN you can invite another human being to go along with you on that big journey called life.
Which gets me right to the next point: Self love is the most important foundation to living the life of your dreams. All those feelings you really need to go through with the big dreams and goals - courage, self sufficiency, endurance, self-reliance, gratitude, serenity, and so on...you find all those feelings on the other side of your self love journey.
Now before we dig deeper I want to show you something: I have a GREAT FREEBIE for you to keep you on your self love journey and give you tons of exercises and good habits to follow along. Just sign up for this 7-day-challenge and meet your happiness on the other side!
I'll be there waiting for you!
Ok, now that the REASONS are clear, let’s get creative about the HOWs, yes? This is the fun part…
Now if you’re in a relationship right now, I guess February 14th is booked, right? Ok then let’s just pick any other day this week for our self love celebration!
So I want you to pick a date and MAKE it a date. Go ahead, tell your husband and then put it in your family calendar. Everyone else - especially your kids - should know how important taking care of yourself is.
Don’t worry, I’ll wait!
There you go. And it’s important that you don’t back out on yourself. Treat this date like a doctor’s appointment. Or your tax due day! You couldn’t miss that one either, right?
Well then let’s talk about what you could do to show yourself some appreciation? There’s quite a few options, actually. Let’s break it down a little further.
First of all, you want to make this day about loving yourself even more, right? So you need to look for something to do or buy that lifts you up.
What is the thing you've been yearning for the most lately?
Wanna just rest?
Is it more downtime? Like lying down and doing nothing? Then you should book yourself a massage or go to the sauna. Taking a time out every once in a while is as important as sleeping or breathing! So if this is what you've been wanting to do, then go ahead an treat yourself! A mani-pedi is just as good, trust me! :)
Me, myself and I
Is it that you miss having some fun as an individual (not as a wife and/or mother)? Then go dress up and go out with your friends. Go on a date with your girlfriends from college. Or maybe you'd like to get to know new people! Then you could go to a dance class maybe. Get yourself out there. Be something more than a wife and mom.
It's great that your life became whole once you found your soulmate and became a mother. But it's also ok to want to be an individual and do stuff individually every now and then. Give yourself permission without having a bad consciousness.
Is it that you feel trapped in your self image? Go to a few stores and try on some outfits. No need to buy anything. Remember back when we were teenagers and didn’t have money? We didn’t need to buy anything, we just wanted to try on something new.
See how you feel inside of something you’d never wear in a million years. Or send your husband and your kids to have a fun day out of the house and try on some new makeups and hairstyles. I promise you, you’ll feel like a teen all over again. And who knows, you might keep one outfit or two...
Learn something new
You feel like you need some new input lately? Go to a reading, to the opera, go see a musical, or visit a cooking class. Giving your brain some new fuel can be very freeing from a mind-numbing routine at a job or at home.
Be more creative
Or maybe you feel like you want to get more creativity in you life? Why don’t you book a poetry class? Or get your camera and shoot some photos outside. Or maybe you always wanted to write a book? Go to a writing class and get the juices flowing! There’s so many opportunities to be creative. You just need to take the time to do it.
Be a kid again
If you really want to dig deep into a time where you innately loved yourself you should try and do something you loved to do when you were a kid.
Roller skating anyone?
Yeah, those memories that you had being a child, they’re still there because you just enjoyed them so much. That’s why they survived all those decades...so the trick is to re-experience those happy times and the happy feelings that go along with them.
If anything, do THIS
If you REALLY want to do something that’ll stick, I suggest you buy yourself something that reminds you to love yourself on a daily basis. You know what that is for me? I bought myself an engagement ring! SAY WHAT?!
Yes you read right. It's not a fancy one, but it looks like one from Tiffany’s!
Wanna know why? Well, the engagement and wedding rings my husband gave me are doing a very good job at reminding me every day of why I should try harder and be a better person. Because there’s a promise attached to those rings. A vow!
So why not use the same symbol to promise myself to try harder and be better at loving myself?
Now, what do you think? What are you going to do this week to show yourself some love? Will you actually take the time for yourself? Will you finally make a promise to yourself? Tell me in the comments.
Have an incredibly great day!
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