How to start loving who you truly are
Today I want to talk to you about something every single one of us has to deal with. Our so-called „flaws“.
I know you guys can think of at least one thing, a character trait, a particular habit, an attribute that you would call your quirk or defect.
And although we often say, that our quirks are what makes us human, or that they are kind of cute, deep inside they can sometimes give us a really hard time.
A little example: I can be a total slob! I've always been! Since I was a kid. And when I say slob, I don't (just) mean that I am messy at home, but that my thoughts are chaotic a lot of the time.
Meaning: They go round and round randomly and almost never appear in a regulated way. Which on the other hand means, that all my life I have been losing/forgetting things (tons of umbrellas, keys, wallets and other stuff), and that I also used to mess up dates or appointments.
So I am talking about those qualities, that have an impact on our surrounding. Those, with which you can annoy society easily sometimes.
Being an introvert
Being too harmonious
Everyone of us has some of these characteristics that drive people nuts. Some of us more, some of us less distinctive.
Now if you are a lucky person like me, you have people around you that take those traits as part of you without making you feel bad about yourself (alright, maybe they use them as a running gag on a family reunion, tops...haha).
If you are not that lucky, your family, friends and others around you could be complaining about those flaws, or even start bullying about it, and maybe they would ask you to get rid of those quirks, to adapt yourself.
OUR POSSIBLE REACTION TO THOSE "FLAWS"
If you get told that you are chaotic, introverted, naive, too harmonious, etc. all the time, and when these traits start to have an impact on your life a lot, it will automatically cast a slur at that feature.
Because being close to people and being loved is one of our most human needs. And therefore we always try to integrate as good as we can.
So we start to see that feature as a flaw, something out-and-out negative.
And if so, there are only 2 types of reactions inside ourselves.
1. Some people just start feeling bad about themselves. They may avoid situations where these particular flaws would come to light. Or, worst case, they may take life decisions based on those thoughts. A person who thinks she is over-harmonious may never apply to a job as team leader because she thinks she might not be able to balance that characteristic in a job.
2. Others just fight those flaws and try with all their might to get rid of them. A lot of them succeed, but maybe they lose faith in themselves on the way...or maybe they not only get rid of that one trait, but they replace a whole belief system without even knowing it.
Someone who is volatile in nature is going to feel frustrated after some time in a job with no variety. If he or she stays there anyway, let's say out of reasons of financial security, that frustration is going to get bigger and bigger, and possibly expand on other areas beside the job...
Pssst, before I give you the alternative, I want to show you a workbook I've designed, that helps you with exactly this issue with a few easy and fun exercises! Just hop on over to my resource library or click one of the following:
I am convinced that, to be happier, we need to make peace with those assumed negative features of ours. We should learn to see them as affiliated to us. Because each one of those features has a positive side.
Back to my example: I am pretty sure that I have been born with a chaotic mind...(everyone who knows me is going to nod along right now I am sure! Haha) But there is a positive side to that medallion. I have always been able to create my own world in my head. Someone told me once that even on my earliest record cards my teachers would talk about how I was always building castles in the air. I am and always have been a real dreamer. And nowadays I am really thankful for that capability. I am convinced that it makes me a happier person.
Also I can adapt myself to new situations really fast, because as I said, my thoughts are rather flexible than of an organized nature.
And so your „flaws“ have a positive side, too...you just need to find and accept it! And this is what you can do to do that:
1. Say it out loud.
Say: I am chaotic! I am volatile! I am over-harmonious! Acknowledge your traits, with pride.
2. Search the positive side. Write al least 3 reasons, why this trait is a real win to your life!
And to make all of this more fun, I have prepared a beautiful printable for you ladies. You can get it at the end of this post. I would suggest that you take a big fat sharpie to fill it out. It should be bold. And then you hang it someplace where you can see it instantly, to remind yourself regularly.
If you want to get a clear walkthrough, I've made you a simple workbook! Just click the following link and you'll get right to it!
Yes there are some, but it is up to you to decide when! There are moments in which you can learn to go around those character traits for a certain time…
Take an introvert IT-specialist as an example. Let's say he has written a great program with which he could make good money. But he hesitates, because he hates dealing with other people. He would rather stay at home and be alone with his work. But he would also like to see his dream come true. So he partners up with someone who understands his area of expertise, and at the same time has a good connection to people.That way he can remain true to himself and yet see his vision come true.
Or let's take a chaotic person like me. I am a mess, and yet I have learned to love that thing about me! And for those moments, where that traits are rather counterproductive (like as a mother of two little children, or as a freelancer), I have learned to override those difficult habits by working with tons of to-do-lists and other reminders. And it works better from day to day! And even if I do miss an appointment or forget to make a call, it still annoys me, but I don't feel useless or helpless like I used to. I am even able to smile at my chaos-brain every now and then...
To help you shift your thoughts, I made you a beautiful workbook for you to download! Make sure you don't miss it! Just click this link:
So, what are the habits that made you not trust yourself lately? What is the running gag at your family reunions? :)
Use the comment section to let me know...I would love to get to know you guys better...
Until then I wish you a happy DE-flawing!
Have an incredibly good day!
Hey there gorgeous! Remember to download your FREE WORKBOOK!
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